That Lucky Pig

I got this from a Facebook status of a kababayan, Ella K, who also reposted this from her friend Susan’s FB status . I thought this is an appropriate material to lighten up this week’s Valentine’s Day celebration. Read on.

picture courtesy of Wikipedia

A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (O.M.G.!!!)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy. I’m still not over the pig.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off. (Honey, I’m home . What the…?)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It’s like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still can’t believe that pig …quality over quantity.)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing.)

A cat’s urine glows under a black light. (I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that, too.) Polar bears are left-handed.(Talk about a southpaw.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?)

Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread these crazy facts. (and God, love that lucky pig)

 

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Impeachment Trial Impressions: Defense Wins Round 1 But Renato Corona is Badly Bruised

Round 1 Goes to the Defense, but CJ Corona is Badly Bruised

 

Fourteen days have passed and the prosecution team is about to wrap up the presentation for Article 2. Thus far, these are my impressions of the first 14 days of the impeachment proceedings:

  1.  I thought that Chief Justice Renato Corona would do a Merci; i.e. resign from his post and  spare himself from the embarrassment of whatever things the prosecution will throw at him during the trial. Renato Corona however has chosen to fight. In an interview  aired over TV Patrol last January 16, 2011, he declared that he will not resign as Chief Justice and only death can remove him from the Supreme Court. Such a bold statement can be interpreted either way: He is either “kapit tuko” or he is convinced he will be acquitted. Whatever it is, his statement over television suggests a long drawn trial.

 

  1. Except for one member of the court who never fails to perform headline grabbing antics when  attending the proceedings, I thought there is a conscious effort on the majority of the senator jurors  not to let the process be hampered by technicalities attendant to judicial proceedings.  I hope this will continue well into the rest of the impeachment trials.  The worst thing that can happen is for technicalities to prevent the truth to come out.  I believe that a decision that is reflective of the truth will surely get the support of the people. But a decision that bars the exposition of the truth using legal technicalities will be rejected by the people and my even result to some form of direct action. (Remember the second envelop and Edsa 2?)

 

The Impeachment Trial on the front page of the Philippine Daily Inquirer, January 16, 2012
  1. This is a trial to show that Renato Corona is not fit to become Chief Justice.  Specifically it is not about the commission of high crimes” but about “betrayal of the public trust” and “culpable violation of the Constitution.”   For the first fourteen days, the trial was progressing  like a criminal proceeding. This could be a mistake by the prosecution resulting in the arguments being focused on evidence akin to a criminal proceeding, not about fitness in office of the Chief Justice.  Result: the Defense is having a field day in Court.

 

  1. The impeachment trial is a showcase of the best lawyers this country has.  I wonder how expensive these lawyers are.  And if indeed they are offering their services for free, are there strings attached to these free services?

 

  1. The defense team may have won this round on technicalities but their client has been badly cruised and his reputation badly tarnished.   No matter how brilliant and experienced the defense counsels are, the prosecution team was able to paint a Chief Justice who has not been that honest with his SALNs, who has bought penthouses at a great discount and who has tried to avoid paying the correct taxes on his real estate transactions and other incomes.

 

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Tonto and the Lone Ranger

Here is an example of how we sometimes get wrapped up in our own biases that we fail to see the obvious.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, “Kemosabe, look towards sky, what you see?”   The Lone Ranger replies, “I see millions of stars.” “What that tell you?” asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, “Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

“What’s it tell you, Tonto?”

“You dumber than buffalo chip.   Someone stole the tent.”

 

 

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Marriage Lessons – How to deal with male chauvinists

Here are some tips on how to deal with male chauvinists. The first and fourth were shared to me by friends from the women’s movement, while the second and third were jokes shared during golf games.  Enjoy them.

Marriage – Part I

Typical macho man marries typical good-looking woman and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

“I’ll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don’t expect any hassle from you.

I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won’t be home for dinner.

I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don’t you give me a hard time about it.

Those are my rules!  Any comments?”

His new bride says, “No, that’s fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o’clock every night  whether you’re here or not.”

************ ********* ********* ******

 

Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife have a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!

The husband yells, “When you die,  I’m getting you a headstone that reads:

“Here Lies My Wife – Cold As Ever ”

“Yeah?” she replies. “When you die,  I’m getting you a headstone that reads:

“Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last”

 ************ ********* *********

Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.

Husband gets up in a rage and says, “You’re no good in bed either!” and storms out of the house.   After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up.

She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says,  “What took you so long to answer the phone?”

She says, “I was in bed.”

“In bed this early, doing what?”

She says, “Getting a second opinion!”

************ ********* ********* ********* ***

Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud  of his achievements. He is so proud of himself,

that he starts calling his wife, “Mother of Six” in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it’s time to go home

and wants to find out  if his wife is ready to leave as well.

He shouts at the top of his voice, “Shall we go home ‘Mother of Six?’

His wife, irritated by her husband’s lack of discretion, shouts right back,

“Anytime you’re ready, Father of Four.”

************ ********* ********* ********

 

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How Good are you with Anagrams? – 1

 

An anagram is a type of word play wherein you rearrange the letters of a word or phrase to produce a new word or phrase, using all the original letters exactly once. For example:  “Microsoft Windows” could be rearranged to become “sown in discomfort“. Other examples are:

  • poor devil = ipod lover
  • justin timberlake -= im a jerk but listen
  • the eyes = they see

 

Today, I am posting a modified form of anagram. It is designed to challenge your knowledge of geography and your ability to think laterally.

Take out three letters from the three word phrase below and scramble the remaining letters to make the name of a country.

 

1. AGE OF LIARS

2. VAN FOR TIME

3. ONE BIG MULE

4. THE OLD PAN

5. TOUGH ACT SAFARI

6. WE SEND ONE

7. A REAL DINER

8. NEAR HIS GYM

 

Now check out how fast you can do  the eight items above!

 

 

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From My Inbox – Keep your Dream


 

 “Success comes to those who believe in the in the beauty of their dreams the most, the fiercest, the longest – those who don’t give up even if the others let go”

                                                                               – Henry Ford,Founder of Ford Motors

 

To have a dream is one of the most important thing any person should have.  It provides one with an image of what he wants to achieve in life – “anong gusto mong maging..” as they would say it in Filipino.  It helps define the direction you want your life to go, and gives you the challenge to put your mind, heart and energy to achieving your dream.

Dream Big. Work for It. Achieve It!

 

There are many stories about people who dream big, worked hard for it, and achieved it. Here is a beautiful story about a boy who dreamed big and did not let any disparaging comments discourage him from working  towards achieving his dream. I pulled this out from my email inbox and I am sharing this with you below…

I have a friend named Monty Roberts who owns a horse ranch in San Ysidro. He has let me use his house to put on fund-raising events to raise money for youth at risk programs.

The last time I was there he introduced me by saying, “I want to tell you why I let Jack use my horse. It all goes back to a story about a young man who was the son of an itinerant horse trainer who would go from stable to stable, race track to race track, farm to farm and ranch to ranch, training horses. As a result, the boy’s high school career was continually interrupted. When he was a senior, he was asked to write a paper about what he wanted to be and do when he grew up.

“That night he wrote a seven-page paper describing his goal of someday owning a horse ranch. He wrote about his dream in great detail and he even drew a diagram of a 200-acre ranch, showing the location of all the buildings, the stables and the track. Then he drew a detailed floor plan for a 4,000-square-foot house that would sit on a 200-acre dream ranch.

“He put a great deal of his heart into the project and the next day he handed it in to his teacher. Two days later he received his paper back. On the front page was a large red F with a note that read, `See me after class.’

“The boy with the dream went to see the teacher after class and asked, `Why did I receive an F?’

“The teacher said, `This is an unrealistic dream for a young boy like you. You have no money. You come from an itinerant family. You have no resources. Owning a horse ranch requires a lot of money. You have to buy the land. You have to pay for the original breeding stock and later you’ll have to pay large stud fees. There’s no way you could ever do it.’ Then the teacher added, `If you will rewrite this paper with a more realistic goal, I will reconsider your grade.’

“The boy went home and thought about it long and hard. He asked his father what he should do. His father said, `Look, son, you have to make up your own mind on this. However, I think it is a very important decision for you.’ “Finally, after sitting with it for a week, the boy turned in the same paper, making no changes at all.

He stated, “You can keep the F and I’ll keep my dream.”

Monty then turned to the assembled group and said, “I tell you this story because you are sitting in my 4,000-square-foot house in the middle of my 200-acre horse ranch. I still have that school paper framed over the fireplace.” He added, “The best part of the story is that two summers ago that same schoolteacher brought 30 kids to camp out on my ranch for a week.” When the teacher was leaving, he said, “Look, Monty, I can tell you this now. When I was your teacher, I was something of a dream stealer. During those years I stole a lot of kids’ dreams. Fortunately you had enough gumption not to give up on yours.”

“Don’t let anyone steal your dreams. Follow your heart, no matter what.”

– Author Unknown

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