Category Archives: and OTHER THINGS

Other things that caught my attention during the week

Marriage Lessons – How to deal with male chauvinists

Here are some tips on how to deal with male chauvinists. The first and fourth were shared to me by friends from the women’s movement, while the second and third were jokes shared during golf games.  Enjoy them.

Marriage – Part I

Typical macho man marries typical good-looking woman and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

“I’ll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don’t expect any hassle from you.

I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won’t be home for dinner.

I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don’t you give me a hard time about it.

Those are my rules!  Any comments?”

His new bride says, “No, that’s fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o’clock every night  whether you’re here or not.”

************ ********* ********* ******

 

Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife have a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!

The husband yells, “When you die,  I’m getting you a headstone that reads:

“Here Lies My Wife – Cold As Ever ”

“Yeah?” she replies. “When you die,  I’m getting you a headstone that reads:

“Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last”

 ************ ********* *********

Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.

Husband gets up in a rage and says, “You’re no good in bed either!” and storms out of the house.   After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up.

She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says,  “What took you so long to answer the phone?”

She says, “I was in bed.”

“In bed this early, doing what?”

She says, “Getting a second opinion!”

************ ********* ********* ********* ***

Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud  of his achievements. He is so proud of himself,

that he starts calling his wife, “Mother of Six” in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it’s time to go home

and wants to find out  if his wife is ready to leave as well.

He shouts at the top of his voice, “Shall we go home ‘Mother of Six?’

His wife, irritated by her husband’s lack of discretion, shouts right back,

“Anytime you’re ready, Father of Four.”

************ ********* ********* ********

 

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How Good are you with Anagrams? – 1

 

An anagram is a type of word play wherein you rearrange the letters of a word or phrase to produce a new word or phrase, using all the original letters exactly once. For example:  “Microsoft Windows” could be rearranged to become “sown in discomfort“. Other examples are:

  • poor devil = ipod lover
  • justin timberlake -= im a jerk but listen
  • the eyes = they see

 

Today, I am posting a modified form of anagram. It is designed to challenge your knowledge of geography and your ability to think laterally.

Take out three letters from the three word phrase below and scramble the remaining letters to make the name of a country.

 

1. AGE OF LIARS

2. VAN FOR TIME

3. ONE BIG MULE

4. THE OLD PAN

5. TOUGH ACT SAFARI

6. WE SEND ONE

7. A REAL DINER

8. NEAR HIS GYM

 

Now check out how fast you can do  the eight items above!

 

 

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From My Inbox – Keep your Dream


 

 “Success comes to those who believe in the in the beauty of their dreams the most, the fiercest, the longest – those who don’t give up even if the others let go”

                                                                               – Henry Ford,Founder of Ford Motors

 

To have a dream is one of the most important thing any person should have.  It provides one with an image of what he wants to achieve in life – “anong gusto mong maging..” as they would say it in Filipino.  It helps define the direction you want your life to go, and gives you the challenge to put your mind, heart and energy to achieving your dream.

Dream Big. Work for It. Achieve It!

 

There are many stories about people who dream big, worked hard for it, and achieved it. Here is a beautiful story about a boy who dreamed big and did not let any disparaging comments discourage him from working  towards achieving his dream. I pulled this out from my email inbox and I am sharing this with you below…

I have a friend named Monty Roberts who owns a horse ranch in San Ysidro. He has let me use his house to put on fund-raising events to raise money for youth at risk programs.

The last time I was there he introduced me by saying, “I want to tell you why I let Jack use my horse. It all goes back to a story about a young man who was the son of an itinerant horse trainer who would go from stable to stable, race track to race track, farm to farm and ranch to ranch, training horses. As a result, the boy’s high school career was continually interrupted. When he was a senior, he was asked to write a paper about what he wanted to be and do when he grew up.

“That night he wrote a seven-page paper describing his goal of someday owning a horse ranch. He wrote about his dream in great detail and he even drew a diagram of a 200-acre ranch, showing the location of all the buildings, the stables and the track. Then he drew a detailed floor plan for a 4,000-square-foot house that would sit on a 200-acre dream ranch.

“He put a great deal of his heart into the project and the next day he handed it in to his teacher. Two days later he received his paper back. On the front page was a large red F with a note that read, `See me after class.’

“The boy with the dream went to see the teacher after class and asked, `Why did I receive an F?’

“The teacher said, `This is an unrealistic dream for a young boy like you. You have no money. You come from an itinerant family. You have no resources. Owning a horse ranch requires a lot of money. You have to buy the land. You have to pay for the original breeding stock and later you’ll have to pay large stud fees. There’s no way you could ever do it.’ Then the teacher added, `If you will rewrite this paper with a more realistic goal, I will reconsider your grade.’

“The boy went home and thought about it long and hard. He asked his father what he should do. His father said, `Look, son, you have to make up your own mind on this. However, I think it is a very important decision for you.’ “Finally, after sitting with it for a week, the boy turned in the same paper, making no changes at all.

He stated, “You can keep the F and I’ll keep my dream.”

Monty then turned to the assembled group and said, “I tell you this story because you are sitting in my 4,000-square-foot house in the middle of my 200-acre horse ranch. I still have that school paper framed over the fireplace.” He added, “The best part of the story is that two summers ago that same schoolteacher brought 30 kids to camp out on my ranch for a week.” When the teacher was leaving, he said, “Look, Monty, I can tell you this now. When I was your teacher, I was something of a dream stealer. During those years I stole a lot of kids’ dreams. Fortunately you had enough gumption not to give up on yours.”

“Don’t let anyone steal your dreams. Follow your heart, no matter what.”

– Author Unknown

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How to Maximize the Philippine Holidays in 2012

The Long Weekends for 2012

Proclamation No. 295  signed last November 24, 2011 provided a list of Official Philippine Holidays and Special Non-Working Days. To the public and private employees as well as the students, this provides an opportunity to plan ahead for possible vacations, out-of-town trips, or for simply having longer quality time with family.
There are  six opportunities for those working in the Philippines to have an extended weekends:
  1. 3 day weekend from January 21(Saturday) to January 23(Monday), the day of the Chinese New Year celebration which has been declared a holiday.
  2. 5 day break from April 5 (Maundy Thursday) to April 9 (Araw ng Kagitingan). In fact, this could be an opportunity to take a very long break starting on the31st of  March and only file for a 3-day leave of absence(from April 2 to 4).
  3. 4 day weekend from Thursday November 1 (All Saints Day) to Sunday Nov 4
  4. 3 day weekend from Saturday August 25 to Monday August 27 (National Heroes Day)
  5. 3 day weekend from Friday November 30 (Bonifacio Day) to Sunday December 2.
  6. 3 day weekend from December 29 to New Year’s Day of January 2013.
In addition, there are also holidays that sandwiches weekends, so that taking one day off may also mean longer relaxation times:
  1. May 1 falls on a Tuesday, so one can take Monday April 30 off and get a 4 day extended weekend from April 28 (Saturday) to May1 (MOnday)
  2. One can take a day off on the Monday, June 11 and get a 4 day extended weekend: June 9 (Sat) to June 12 (Tuesday), a holiday
  3. Christmas day is on a Tuesday, so why not take take a break also on December 24, a Monday so you can get a full 4 days off from Dec 22 to Dec 25?
To recap, here is the full list of regular holidays and special non-working holidays for 2012:
Regular Holidays:
New Year’s Day                                                      January 1 (Sunday)
Maundy Thursday                                                    April 5
Good Friday                                                             April 6
Araw ng Kagitingan                                                  April 9 (Monday)
Labor Day                                                                May 1 (Tuesday)
Independence Day                                                    June 12 (Tuesday)
National Heroes Day                                                August 27 (Last Monday of August)
Bonifacio Day                                                           November 30 (Friday)
Christmas Day                                                          December 25 (Tuesday)
Rizal Day                                                                  December 30 (Sunday)
Special (Non-Working) Days
Chinese New Year                                                   January 23 (Monday)
Ninoy Aquino Day                                                  August 21 (Tuesday)
All Saints Day                                                          November 1 (Thursday)
Additional special (non-working) day                       November 2 (Friday)
Last Day of the Year                                                December 31 (Monday)
Plan you breaks. Enjoy your vacation leaves. You deserved it!
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Old People Have Problems

Amusing stories are passed on from one person to another. In the process, some details are lost and even the names of the original author(s) may even be omitted. Here is one example of such joke, which may have originated from the West and found its way to some email addresses here in the Philippines. I am posting it here because of its amusement value. Unfortunately, the name of its original author was no longer there when I received the email.

Smile.

Old people have problems that you haven ‘ t even considered yet!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.”

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor ‘ s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained,

“Well, doc, it ‘ s like this–first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.”

“Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.”

“We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing.”

The doctor was shocked!  “You asked your neighbour? ”

The old man replied,  “Yep, none of us could get the jar open.. ”

 


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From my Inbox – Signs You’ve Had Too Much Holiday Cheer

Signs You’ve Had Too Much Holiday Cheer

1. You strike a match and light your nose.
2. You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad.
3. You hear a duck quacking and it’s you.
4. You tell your best joke to the indoor plant.
5. You refill your glass from the fish bowl.
6. You hear someone say, “Call a priest!”
7. You start kissing the portraits on the wall.
8. You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet.
9. You ask for another ice cube and put it in your pocket.
10. You tell everyone you have to go home… and the party’s at your place.
11. You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.
12. You pick up a roll, and butter your watch.
13. You yawn at the biggest bore in the room… and realize you’re in front of the hall mirror.

 

Now, which one of the thirteen in the list were you on Christmas day?

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