Married Life


You have choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.

__________
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
‘Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?’
‘Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.’
__________

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
‘Husband Wanted’..
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
‘You can have mine.’
__________

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
__________

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished
 .
__________

A little boy asked his father,
‘Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?’
Father replied, ‘I don’t know son, I’m still paying.’
__________

A young son asked,
‘Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?’
Dad replied, ‘That happens in every country, son.’
__________
Then there was a woman who said,
‘I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late.’
__________

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
__________

If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say — talk in your sleep.
__________

Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
__________

First guy says, ‘My wife’s an angel!’
Second guy remarks, ‘You’re lucky, mine’s still alive..’
__________
‘A Woman’s Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I’ll just beat him to death’

 

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Who am I?

LETS SEE HOW FAST YOU CAN SOLVE THIS:

I am a five letter word.

If my first letter is removed i come above you

If my first two letters are removed I am still around you

HINT:  I am used for your comfort

 

 

 

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Finding Pure Gold – A Reunion Story

 

Very recently, I became a golden girl. Turning 50 has its perks. You care more about substance rather than form. Men still take a good look at you and respectfully, smile. I like this. It used to be winks, or long glazed stares that make you either uncomfortable or could make you stare back. You think it matters? Perhaps two decades ago, when we sought some attention at an age when we were neither too young nor old enough, it could have meant something.

But it does not matter anymore, not at all, not now when I am half a century old!  Isn’t this grand?  I used to think, wow, when I’d get to this age, will I be wearing long skirts and tie my hair in a tight bun? What will it be like? Will there be many unwelcome changes? Surprise! It feels good. I only need to lose a few pounds; otherwise, it feels so good. It makes you thankful, that you have reached this ripeness of age.  It is very similar to knowing what you want and getting it. You understand what contentment is and know its cousin satisfaction.

The knowledge that you have gone through so much and have learned as much makes you slow-nod your head in quiet understanding. I remember thinking how ancient this age would probably be like. Now I throw my head back in laughter because my thoughts were as lacking in finesse as the age I was in when I thought them.

Would I wish to go back to my youthful days? To what? To be clumsy and awkward again? To be reckless and uncaring again? Should I turn back the hands of time and relive certain memorable moments? The thought took form when, one magical weekend, a group of childhood friends gathered together, after 33 years of being apart. A fluke! That the friend who put up a facebook page is named Jesus.  Jesus Betia, Jr.

And yes, what a gift for a golden girl! Is it possible to relive our youth, minus the awkwardness, the confusion, the curiosity, the ignorance or was that arrogance, too?! Yes it is!

After only a few months of filling the page, we were able to plan something quick. All eager, all missing one another, we set a date. This was not easy because some lived in the U.S., others in Canada, Japan, and scattered in the Philippine Islands. But, when people decide to do something and commit, the wheels of the universe also start turning and things happen.

Nobel cor. Edison St., Makati

We once lived in a street called Nobel. We always mention Edison in Makati to let people know where this is. If it were not enough, you have to say Buendia and add Bautista. Those who know the main avenues would easily know where it is. Some would volunteer knowing all the other streets in Barangay San Isidro named after inventors: Marconi, Bell, Morse, Galvani, Faraday, etc.

The family friends we made include the Santoses, the Dys, the Betias, the Borromeos, the Evangelistas, the Mallaris, and the Patrimonios. The families became close not just by the proximity of homes, but by the friendships formed among the children and the parents. More intimately, there’s Angie, Tere, Mercy and Dothy, Danny and Rey, Lynn, Jesus, John-John and Con-con, Jun, Rey Dy, Matt, Ate Fely, Winnie and Siony, Boy P., Ponggie, Al, Mabeth, Beng and Elvie, Juan, Ellen, Judith, Daday, Mico, Gino, Nino and Ana. Of course my own beloved siblings, Cynthia, Bobby and Badong. And there were some more, much younger, but Nobel-Edison youth still.

For many years, in our case ten, we not only lived next to one another, we played the best of games on the street where we lived. There were times when rainstorms flooded the streets and you would think we’d be staying indoors, but we waded in the murky waters instead. No flood would stop the Nobel-Edison children from playing.

Play was a serious matter. It meant gathering the best players for each patintero team, cops and robbers (we used to say Touching Rubber) team, even soccer/football, Chinese garters, jackstones, skipping rope, hide and seek and whatever other games we could play.

There were no personal computers yet, no laptops, no cellphones, and so we had time to sweat on the street, to run in wild abandon, to scream, squeal our delight at winning whatever game we decided to be engrossed in for the day. As if we had all the time in the world! But yes, we gave our games the time. Despite our assigned household chores, or being required to sleep after lunch, the games had to be played.

We were children, ages 7 below, till we grew up to 17 below. Those who were older than us, had other things going for them, aside from being the despotic rulers of our magical world. They were the commanders, the older brothers and sisters who were blessed to have us to run to the stores for this or that.

Alas, nothing lasts forever. We parted ways and lost touch. Although there were times we would recall, sometimes teary-eyed and achy-heart, wondering where we could find our childhood friends again, whether we would see one another ever again.

But believing in our hearts that this day would come, it does! Facebook Assisted Reunions! Though so far apart and three decades later, we find our GOLD.

 

We found our gold in the friendship we picked up from where we left off....

Gold is the friendship that has not been ravaged by the many years of being apart from one another.  The true mark of friendship is simply picking up from where we left off and it was clear, in our warm embraces, our hugs and kisses, it was reuniting the children in us once more.

The apartment where we used to live is now the Bombo Radyo Bldg

The apartment building where we grew up, is now the Bombo Radyo Building. The noise it now makes may equal ours backthen. We trekked “our street” one more time and posed for photos. We felt its power, this great street, which witnessed us win and lose, laugh and cry, fight and make-up, and then laugh some more. It was there where we learned more than what our schools taught us.

We learned not to be lazy from the grand old men Mr. Ben Dy and Mr. Pol Santos who were up before any of us, before sunrise in fact. We learned to be tough women, from Mrs. Mary Santos and my own mother, who were strict disciplinarians. Mrs. Santos being a Navy Man’s wife who easily handled six children and my own Nanay, Pat Palomo, an ex-army nurse, widowed and raising four difficult kids.

We learned cheerfulness from Atty. Estela Betia and Tito Jess who often smiled at us kids and asked how we were. We learned kindness from Mrs. Dominga Dy and Mrs. Mallari who seemed to never raise their voices more than two notches above a whisper. Capt. And Mrs. Evangelista taught us what it was like to have many visitors every day! He was the barangay captain at the time and his wife Amalia ably assisted him. Mr. and Mrs. Borromeo taught us how it was like to care for little children by carefully watching over them.

But most of all, we learned that no amount of time can erase the wonderful feeling of being friends, no distance will stop true friends from reuniting and that love which we know we share with our family members is the same kind of love we share with these very friends whom we have known in our innocence and pureness of hearts. What a great gift for all of us who made it to the first reunion. What a privilege it was to see one another again.

Reunions made us feel like kids again.

How many people get this rare privilege? What are the chances of hugging your best childhood friends after 33 years of being apart? How do you cram all the missing information in the two days that you’re allowed to be with them? So many more stories to tell, so many lessons to share, yet so little time. But the promise of sustaining and nurturing the gift is there, in our hands now, and hearts, too.

Now that we have been reunited, it marks the beginning of hopefully longer chapters in our lives, to stay connected, to continue our communication, to keep caring for one another. This for me, is finding pure gold.

 

 

 

About Stella Palomo Monteno:

 

 

 

Stella is a Cebu City based writer, advertising practitioner and television producer. She recently turned golden and decided to trace back her roots to where she spent her childhood years.. in the streets of Makati. Stella works as a marketing consultant of a beach resort in Cebu. But most of the time, she is  a secret poetess and a novelist taking forever to finish her first published epic novel! Stella’s email address is stellla_monteno@yahoo.com.

 

 

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SIGNS – Door Signs 1

I got this set of amusing signs posted at various doors from an email coming from Reynaldo Espanola. I am sharing this with you below.

 

Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office: 
 “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
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In a Podiatrist’s office:
“Time wounds all heels.”
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On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels
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At a Proctologist’s door:
“To expedite your visit please back in.”
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On a Plumber’s truck:
“We repair what your husband fixed.”
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On another Plumber’s truck:
“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber..” 
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On a Church’s Billboard:
“7 days without God makes one weak.”
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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee : 
“Invite us to your next blowout.”
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At a Towing company:
“We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.”
**************************

On an Electrician’s truck:
“Let us remove your shorts.” 
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In a Nonsmoking Area: 
“If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.” 
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On a Maternity Room door: 
“Push. Push. Push.”
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At an Optometrist’s Office:
“If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”
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On a Taxidermist’s window:
“We really know our stuff.”
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On a Fence:
“Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!” 
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At a Car Dealership:
“The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.” 
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Outside a Muffler Shop: 
“No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”
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In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
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At the Electric Company
“We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don’t, you will be.”
**************************

In a Restaurant window:
“Don’t stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.”
**************************

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
“Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”
**************************

At a Propane Filling Station:
“Thank heaven for little grills.”
**************************

And don’t forget the sign at a
Chicago Radiator Shop:
“Best place in town to take a leak.”

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How to Win Customers

I had this in my notebook for a long time. I am not sure whether I got  it from a book I was reading or from an article in a website. What  I am sure though, is that this set of quotations captures what every brand man has to do to win customers.

Tell me what you think.

 

Don’t sell me clothes,
Sell me sharp appearance, style and attractiveness.

Don’t sell me insurance.
Sell me peace of mind and a great future for my family.

Don’t sell me a house.
Sell me comfort, contentment, investment and pride of ownership.

Don’t sell me books.
Sell me pleasant hours and profits of knowledge.

Don’t sell me toys.
Sell my children happy moments.

Sell good feelings, self-respect, happiness and solutions to my life’s problems.

– Michael LeBoeuf  in “How to win customers and Keep Them for Life”

 

Do you agree? Why?

 

 

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Parental Wisdom

I think most of us remember with fondness the instances when our parents had their own ways of calling our attention to our “palpak” moments. Following are some of the  “nuggets of wisdom” that we use to get in regular doses from our parents.

Read on as these may come in handy when you become parents yourselves.

 

1. Si Inay, tinuruan niya ako HOW TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE :
                    “Kung kayong dalawa ay magpapatayan, doon kayo sa labas!
                             Mga leche kayo, kalilinis ko lang ng bahay.”
 
2. Natuto ako ng RELIGION kay Itay
                     “Kapag yang mantsa di natanggal sa carpet, magdasal ka na!”

3.Kay Inay ako natuto ng LOGIC :
                      “Kaya ganyan, dahil sinabi ko.”

4. At kay Inay pa rin ako natuto ng MORE LOGIC:
                     “Pag ikaw nalaglag diyan sa bubong, ako lang mag-isa ang manonood ng sine.” 

5. Si Inay din ang nagturo sa akin kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng IRONY:
                      “Sige ngumalngal ka pa at bibigyan talaga kita ng iiyakan mo!”
 
6. Si Inay ang nagpaliwanag sa akin kung ano ang CONTORTIONISM:
                        “Tingnan mo nga yang dumi sa likod ng leeg mo, tingnan mo!!!”

7. Si Itay ang nagpaliwanag sa akin kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng STAMINA: 
                          “Wag kang tatayo diyan hangga’t di mo nauubos lahat ng pagkain mo!”

8. At si Inay ang nagturo sa amin kung ano ang WEATHER:                                                                                        “Lintek talaga kayo, ano ba itong kuwarto nyong magkapatid,                                                               parang dinaanan ng bagyo!”

9. Ganito ang paliwanag sa akin ni Inay tungkol sa CIRCLE OF LIFE:                                                                          “Malandi kang bata ka, iniluwal kita sa mundong ito,                                                                      maari rin kitang alisin sa mundong ito.”

10. Kay Itay ako natuto kung ano ang BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
                          “Tumigil ka nga diyan! Huwag kang umarte na parang Nanay mo!”

11. Si Inay naman ang nagturo kung anong ibig sabihin ng GENETICS:
                            “Nagmana ka nga talaga sa ama mong walanghiya!”

12. Si Inay naman ang nagpaliwanag sa amin kung anong ibig sabihin ng ENVY :
                              “Maraming mga batang ulila sa magulang.
                             Di ba kayo nagpapasalamat at mayroon kayong magulang na tulad namin?”
 
13. Si Itay naman ang nagturo sa akin ng ANTICIPATION:
                             “Sige kang bata ka, hintayin mong makarating tayo sa bahay!”

14. At si Itay pa rin ang nagturo kay Kuya kung anong ibig sabihin ng RECEIVING: 
                              “Uupakan kita pagdating natin sa bahay!” 

15. At si Itay pa rin ang nagturo kay Kuya kung anong ibig sabihin ng DETERMINATION: 
                         “Hanapin mo yung pinahahanap ko sa ! iyo, pag di mo nahanap, makikita mo!”
 
16. Si Inay naman ang nagturo sa akin kung ano ang HUMOR:
                        “Kapag naputol yang mga paa mo ng pinaglalaruan mong lawnmower, wag na                                wag kang tatakbo sa akin at lulumpuhin kita!”

17. At ang pinakamahalaga sa lahat, natutunan ko kina Inay at Itay kung ano ang JUSTICE:
                             “Balang araw magkakaroon ka rin ng anak…tiyak magiging katulad mo at                                   magiging sakit din sa ulo!” 

 

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