Pacquiao Jokes

Here is a compilations of various Pacquiao-isms. Laugh your hearts loud.

"HIDDEN SOLDIERS!" ………………..yan ang sagot ni Manny Pacquiao sa tanong na "What is the world's No. 1 anti-dandruff shampoo?" (Head 'n Shoulders)

*************** *

Genie: Bibigyan kita ng isang kahilingan.
Aling Dionisia: Talaga?…gusto ko gumanda!
Genie: Buksan mo ang bote.
Aling Dionisia: At gaganda na ako?
Genie: Hindi. Babalik na lang ako.

************ *

Pacman: Sabi ng titser ko, bakit daw ang eggplant walang egg?
Aling Dionisia: Sabihon mo sa titser mo, na pag me egg yun, turta na yan, TURTA!

** ********** *

Reporter: Ngayong nanalo ka Manny, anong pasalubong mo kay Jinkee?
Manny: Ibon syempre. Mahilig sya dun e.
Reporter: Ibon? Anong klaseng ibon?
Manny: Yung mga lipstek, pangmik up ba? Basta mga Ibon products! Yo know?(Avon..)

************ *

Dionesia: Doc gusto ko magpalagay ng breast.
Doctor (gulat) magpapasexsi ka na?
Dionesia: Breast sa ngipen ba. Paraumayos yun ngepen ko! Deba uso yon?

************ *

Pacquiao: Wala, talo ka na kahit anung gawin mo.
Bradley: Pagandahan na lang tayo ng nanay!
Pacquiao: Ah! Wala namang ganyanan. I mean you know?

************ *

Aling Dionisia: Inday, akina nga yun g seeds ko.
Inday: Bakit po magtatanim po ba kayo?
Aling Dionisia: Anung magtatanim sinasabi mo? Nasisilaw ang mata ko kaya kailangan ko yung seeds.

************ *

Jinky: Manny, kung magkakaanak ulet tayu anu magandang name?
Manny: Hmm. Eh di combine na lang name natin??MANKY?…

************ *

Aling Dionisia: Gusto ko naman pag nagka-anak kayo uli ni Jinky, di lang pangalan nyo pagsasamahin. Dapat kasali din pangalan ko.
Manny: Oo naman nay, kasu midyu mahirap yun.
Aling Dionisia: Hindi ah, may naesep na nga ako eh.
Manny: Talaga 'nay? Anu?
Aling Dionisia: DIOMANJI (dionisia-manny- jinky)

************ *

Pacquiao: Honey, buksan mo na yung sweets.
Jinky : Lambing mo talaga. mwah !! Nasan ang sweets honey?
Pacquiao: Yung sweets ng ilaw. di ako makakita? ang dilim!!

************ *

Si Manny Pacquiao tumakbo sa pagka-Congressman sa GenSan…
Reporter: Manny, anong masasabi mo sa peace and order sa inyong lugar sa Gen San?
Manny: Ah, yun ba? uhmm…eh… ang masasabi kulang diyan ay….
Reporter: Ano..?
Manny: Ahh, kwan,…maraming pish sa Gen San pero wala masyado umo-order

************ *

Freddie and Manny heart to heart talk
Manny: Pare, ba't naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? Wala ka pa bang napupusuan?
Freddie: Meron. .. Manhid ka lang!
& nbsp;
************ *

Noodle!! Noodle!! Noodle!!
Manny Pacquiao sa Deal or No Deal

************ *

Sa Las Vegas
Waiter: May i take your order, Madam?
Aling Dionisia: Soup
Waiter: Chicken, asparagus, noodle, fish or soup of the day?
Aling Dionisia: Soup drenks!

************ *

Sa isang Birthday Party
Aling Dionisia: Blue!!! Blue the Kick!!!!

************ *

You is!' 'you is! you is!', sigaw ni Aling
Dionisia pagdating sa Amerika..Andito na ako sa 'you is!'

***********

 
Enhanced by Zemanta

What if Pacquiao Loses Against Marquez?

Promo photo of the Pacquiao-Marquez Bout

So what do you think will happen if Pacquiao loses to Juan Manuel Marquez this Sunday? Can you imagine a scenario like that?

A must win bout for Pacquiao
We all want Manny Pacquiao must to win convincingly in this bout against Juan Manuel Marquez. This is their third bout and Marquez has never acknowledged his defeat against Pacquiao. In fact, Manny has every reason not to fight the Mexican. He has everything to lose; Marquez everything to gain. But then again the lure of the fight day pay-out may be too much. After all, it means another millions of dollars to Pacquiao’s bank account.

Marquez has a fighting chance
To be sure, Marquez has a fighting chance to win over Pacquiao. First of all, he has every motivation to beat Manny Pacquiao.  He felt he was screwed in their first two fights, and this should motivate him to do enough in the ring to convince the judges that he, not Pacquiao is the winner the third time around.

Second of all, Marquez has the hand speed, an exceptional counterpunching skill and use his jab effectively against his opponents. Coupled with his reach advantage, he has a formidable arsenal that may help him secure a win against Pacquiao.

Finally, there are distractions that come Manny Pacquiao’s way today. Negative news has surfaced about Manny’s troubles with some accountants:  that Manny Pacquiao has some tax troubles which these accountants fixed, that he did not pay for the services of these accountants; and that he borrowed money from these accountants but refused to pay them.

So, can you imagine what would happen if Pacquiao will lose this fight?

What if Pacquio Loses the fIght?
For one, he will surely get the ire of the hundreds of gambling aficionados who bet their moneys on him. Never mind if they have already raked in a couple of millions from winnings in his previous fights. Just like a fighting cock, a boxer is only as good as his last performance. Try to lose and these bettors will blame him for every possible reason that they can think of as the reason why he lost the fight.

He may no longer have as many hangers on to watch his post fight concerts and celebrations. The hangers will be gone immediately after the post fight conference.

When he comes back to the country, he may no longer have the usual parade around various cities in the metropolis alongside some politicians.  A lot of politicians will avoid him. Several of his fellow congressmen will not even bother to thank him for the free plane tickets and hotels rooms he gave them for free.

There may even be a danger that the Arm Forces will withdraw the promotion to Colonel which was recently granted to him. They will simply cite as reason the questions raised by some sectors about his qualification for the rank.

Media will have a heyday analyzing why he lost. They will look at his family life, the state of his finances, his possible troubles with the US IRS, cases filed against him by his previous accountants. He will turn his life upside down just trying to provide explanations on why he lacked concentration for the bout.

Then everybody will focus on his training habits. They will point out his failure to prepare hard for the fight.  His many distractions: his TV show, media interviews, and various personal appearances. They may even mention his ambition to run for higher positions in Philippine politics. Mind you even his dog will be scrutinized.

Everybody loves a winner. The loser will be left alone to lick his wounds. Manny Pacquiao cannot afford to lose.